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I’m “you can only play video games on channel 3” years old.
51
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12-11-2017 04:37 by
huck
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Sometimes it looks like I’m flashing gang signs, but really I’m just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand.
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01-23-2016 06:49 by
huck
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Based on how I react when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
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01-08-2014 12:57 by
Huck
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There are 15 year olds skating in the Olympics and I can’t even walk down my driveway in winter
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02-17-2014 05:24 by
Huck
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How long do I need to be in therapy before I forget the time in gym class when I was hit in the stomach with a dodge ball and farted?
47
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09-03-2014 10:29 by
Huck
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It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much stuff to carry.
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10-08-2013 05:32 by
huck
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I’ve found the best way to learn your co-workers’ names is by eating their food in the office fridge
41
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12-30-2013 07:27 by
Huck
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The Cowboys just signed a "No Super Bowl for six more years" contract today
81
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03-30-2013 07:55 by
Huck
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I get my: Cereal from a tiger, Insurance from a gecko, Toilet paper from a bear, Financial advice from a gorilla. It's people I don't trust.
69
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08-20-2013 15:43 by
huck
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Its awkward touching hands with another man in a popcorn bag, especially if you don't know the man & he doesn't know you're eating his popcorn
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08-02-2013 06:03 by
huck
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Today I went to work w/my clothes inside out and had chocolate pudding and popcorn for dinner. Wife has been gone ONE DAY & I am a toddler.
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10-22-2014 19:15 by
huck
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There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version.
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08-07-2012 08:52 by
Huck
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Be nice to people on your way up so they won't get suspicious when you're rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport
63
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01-10-2014 05:35 by
Huck
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When people ask me what I did over the weekend, I always squint and respond “Why, what did you hear?”
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10-10-2014 05:26 by
huck
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When people tell me "You're gonna regret that in the morning" I sleep in til noon, because I'm a problem Solver
103
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08-22-2013 05:36 by
huck
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Let's start a charity where we give cats to people who say goodnight to social networking sites.
80
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02-28-2014 05:35 by
Huck
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Just did a weeks worth of cardio after walking into a spider's web.
97
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09-03-2012 07:58 by
Huck
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Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
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02-11-2015 05:34 by
huck
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Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that’s all I need to know about that.
91
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09-30-2014 05:28 by
huck
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You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can't conjugate verbs.
91
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08-23-2012 06:24 by
Huck
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