I feel like we should wait to hear Adele's ex-boyfriend's songs before we choose sides.
Hawonk I don't get it.
5 years ago
5 years ago
Not now, I'm binge watching the weather channel.
No spoilers please! I want the season ending to be a surprise.
5 years ago
5 years ago
Bill Murray walked up to me today in McDonalds, grabbed a fry off of my tray, ate it, and said " No one is gonna believe you"
Jay Emm I don't believe you!
5 years ago
5 years ago
My buddy was playing a drinking game where he’d take a shot of whiskey every time Trump lies. His funeral is Tuesday.
Ray Riley So edgy and original. You’re quite the provocateur.
5 years ago
5 years ago
12 years of school and I'm still not sure if it's “grey” or “gray”
PennieLane Both are correct.
5 years ago
5 years ago
for the question "Do Amish murderers get the acoustic chair? The answer is no. They use static electricity from the carpet.
Jay Emm Amish homes have hardwood floors. They woud have to rub a cat and a sheep together to get static.
5 years ago
5 years ago
just found out the guy I'm dating is married. wild. I always just thought he was doing a bad borat impression.
Hillbilly Married guys act like Borat?
5 years ago
5 years ago
If your ever wondering who your real friends are on facebook just delete your account and see who calls.
Michael *You're
5 years ago
5 years ago
Insanity runs in my family..it practically gallops.
LS Runs or gallops? Make up your mind!
5 years ago
5 years ago
Now IKEA is closing its plant and moving to Europe. So much winning....
IKEA id a foreign-owned company. They have every right to do that.
5 years ago
5 years ago
That silly moment when your gas tank is on 'E' and you turn the music off like it's going to save gas
Miss Y It does save gas. Where do you think the power comes from?
5 years ago
5 years ago
If you're mad about The Little Mermaid not being white, wait until you hear about Jesus.
D-Man Everyone is talking about the new Little Mermaid, but Hollywood isn't going to convince me that a black woman was swimming underwater getting her hair wet...I know better than that!!!
5 years ago
5 years ago
Hey everyone. Remember to leave out a riffle and some Budweiser, this 4th of July eve, or Kid Rock won't bring you any fireworks.
Wes What's a "riffle"?
5 years ago
5 years ago
I wonder what Mark Zuckerberg does to kill time?
Kauai He robs Hawaiian Natives of their land
5 years ago
5 years ago
I start every day with Cap'n Crunch, and end every day with Captain Morgan because apparently I want to be a Pirate..
Ha ha
5 years ago
5 years ago
At a blood bank, a nurse extracts the blood. Wouldn't it be nice if the nurse at the sperm bank did the extractions too?
That sure would make me become a donor
5 years ago
5 years ago
Vegetarians don't eat meat but they want their food to look like meat. Got it.
Don’t be a dik If you could have the same thing without all the suffering, why wouldn’t you?
5 years ago
5 years ago
The man who never apologizes, wants an apology. The irony is strong with this one.
NoItsNot No it’s not.
5 years ago
5 years ago
A belt may hold up your pants but belt loops hold up the belt, so who's the real hero??
Los8383 Mitch Hedbergs joke
5 years ago
5 years ago
I came home one day all proud as can be with my report card and said to my Mom ,Look I got a B in reading , She said that's a D you moron!
Dan I posted this a few months ago. This website is nothing but a big repeat.
5 years ago
5 years ago
I put my fitbit on the refrigerator handle. Amazing, my daily activity has increased 10 fold....that's the ticket....
Bindi Try putting it on the dogs collar. Even beter.
5 years ago
5 years ago
I would rather trust a billionaire who becomes a politician than a politician who becomes a billionaire.
Tallmtnman Or one that became a multi-millionaire, right?
5 years ago
5 years ago
Elvis Presley moved Priscilla to his house when she was 14 years old. Where's the outrage over this?
14 - 17 still illegal.
5 years ago
5 years ago
JW She was actually 17...
5 years ago
5 years ago
Our first lady will be doing a live show. Will there be a pole involved?
No, #walkaway makes to much sense. But thanks anyway bro. 👍
5 years ago
5 years ago
Had the most amazing dream of my life last night I feel as if was like a revelation that could change my life and possibly the lives of millions of people around the world for the better forever! if I could just remember what it was about?
Was the dream about stealing this status this same status that was posted a couple weeks ago?
5 years ago
5 years ago
Elvis Presley moved Priscilla to his house when she was 14 years old. Where's the outrage over this?
Cyndi It's bad but back years ago that's the way it was girls were wives at 14 but never in history wait OK to rape 100s of little boys over and over
5 years ago
5 years ago
Truman Chuck Berry?
5 years ago
5 years ago
Daylight Saving Time starts this evening, turn your clocks back and change batteries in smoke alarms.
Easy way to remember what way to set your clocks is: SPRING FOWARD, FALL BACK.
5 years ago
5 years ago
Elvis Presley moved Priscilla to his house when she was 14 years old. Where's the outrage over this?
Then there’s Jerry Lee Lewis.
5 years ago
5 years ago
Our first lady will be doing a live show. Will there be a pole involved?
#walkawayfromwalkingaway
5 years ago
5 years ago
#walkaway
5 years ago
5 years ago
I'm hoping the next big Trend will be modesty.
Right!!!
5 years ago
5 years ago
Just because school isn't for you, doesn't mean rapping is.
I hate rap.
5 years ago
5 years ago
Don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Say hi to Napoleon.
5 years ago
5 years ago
I would rather trust a billionaire who becomes a politician than a politician who becomes a billionaire.
Karen O I would like to see the tax returns of any President claiming to be a Billionaire
5 years ago
5 years ago
Only resort to violence if necessary like if a coworker says "another day in paradise".
So true.
5 years ago
5 years ago
When you work hard, save your money, go out and buy that expensive thing you've always wanted, then your lazy friend says "Must be nice."
^^ Yeah, IDTN did.
5 years ago
5 years ago
^^ I see someone has chosen hate over love.
5 years ago
5 years ago
At a blood bank, a nurse extracts the blood. Wouldn't it be nice if the nurse at the sperm bank did the extractions too?
I guess that when it comes to the morality over choosing love over hate, IDTN chooses hate.
5 years ago
5 years ago
Hey Jussie, everyone makes mistakes. Don't beat yourself up over it.
^^ original or not, I think it's funny as hell! Crybaby boy! Lmao!
5 years ago
5 years ago
I'm so old that the only room I can go into and remember why is the bathroom.
Image-status.com 'Sometimes, being hurt too many times, doesn't make you stronger, it destroy who you were, who you wanted to be and makes who you are today.''
5 years ago
5 years ago
That Jussie dude sounds like such an A-hole you'd think he could have just gotten beat up based on his personality.
^^
Do I know know? This is the first time I talked to you.
5 years ago
5 years ago
^^ Maturity is severely lacking here. Mostly on your part. I thought I'd hand some back to ya. Here's for ALL the times you've done the same thing to me. **cheers**
....and thanks for proving my point that you DO cry.
5 years ago
5 years ago
^^way to answer my question like a mature individual.
5 years ago
5 years ago
Yo Jussie...this $3,500 check bounced!
Jim Acosta's Ego Hillary was the cause of 9/11.
5 years ago
5 years ago
That Jussie dude sounds like such an A-hole you'd think he could have just gotten beat up based on his personality.
^^ Do you not cry?
5 years ago
5 years ago
^^^
Does he not lie?
5 years ago
5 years ago
^^ With your name games and Jussie's hoax, I think it's fair to say that liberals do more than their fair share of lying.
5 years ago
5 years ago
Yo Jussie...this $3,500 check bounced!
At 2:57. It was genuine.
5 years ago
View Status Messages5 years ago
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