Monday Funny Status Messages

   Monday morning is the time we go through photos from the weekend and figure out what the hell happened. I swear that goat said he had ID.

   It's Cyber Sex Monday :)

   Why wait for Black Friday, when you can shop brown Monday right

   Because it's Monday, I'll go ahead and tell you what the funniest thing is the world is: A fat guy falling down his last 3 stairs, while farting. Glad no one was here.

   My girlfriend has been trying out her new schoolgirl outfit I brought her earlier today. Which is a shame........Can't believe she's back to school on Monday already.

   The weekend is the reason I work Monday-Friday.

   I say "Monday" like "Jerry Seinfeld says "Newman!"

   Friday: YES, ITS THE WEEKEND! *Blink* Monday: WTF just happened?!

   In the words of Mike Tyson, "I am gonna **** this Monday until it loves me"

   I wish Monday was a figment of my imagination.

   WHOOOAAA!!! I smell the strong stench of "MONDAY" brewing!!

   So Valentines day is approaching...I got a new smokin hot outfit and I managed to secure the best table Monday night at Waffle House on Oneal....that's right...I'm gonna get some FO SHO!!

   Monday isn't so bad if you lube up.

   ESPN's Ron Jaworski just apologized for saying "sh*t" live on the air during Monday Night Football. Which just goes to prove that 90% of sportscasters don't notice to all the dumb krap that comes outta there own mouths anyway.

   Interviewer: Why should you work here? Waiter: I believe I am capable of bringing a lot to the table. Interviewer: Can you start Monday?

   this is what has happened when the have Giants won the Superbowl....1987 Black Monday Stock Market Crash,1991 Gulf War part 1,2008 Economy Crashes....2012

   My favorite holiday is, National Egg Salad Lunch Monday. . .

   Wait, you're telling me that if I kill off and entire culture and take credit for discovering a land I in no way discovered,I'll get a random Monday in October off from work? Only in America!..... Happy Columbus day!!

   "Monday" like Jerry Seinfeld says "Newman!"

   My Man Crush Monday is: Obama. I hope a rock falls, and crushes his head.