Monday Funny Status Messages

   Daaaay-oh! Monday come and me wan go home...

   WOW! I can't believe the Guard who was guarding Jeffery Epstein was killed in an automobile accident - Tomorrow or Monday!

   Cyber Monday but instead of buying more stuff, I get rid of it by putting it in Amazon boxes on my porch and let it get stolen

   How come today is Monday when yesterday was only Friday??

   "Friday" is an old Indian word that means "Just two more days until Monday."

   You know when the police arrive at your job at 9am on a Monday... Its going to be an interesting day.

   Daylight Savings Time: I say start it on a Monday at 5 pm. You wouldn't lose the hour on Sunday, and it would shorten Monday.

   Warning. Going to sleep on Sunday will cause Monday. Please note that staying awake all night does not prevent Monday. There is no cure.

   "Today its Sunday" Forward this to 15 friends,.. within 7 days you"ll get another Sunday. it really works... One of my friends ignored it and he got Monday within 24 hours

   Ahh..Monday, so we meet again... You dirty b*tch

   In addition to Casual Friday, I propose the following: Punch A Coworker Monday, No Pants Tuesday, Drunk At Work Wednesday, and Call In Sick Thursday.

   If you listen very carefully, you can hear Monday sharpening its claws.

   Dear Radio Stations, please do not play Katy Perry's "Friday Night" Monday morning at 8 AM during my drive to work.

   The toughest activity of a week starts right from Monday morning....its called "Waking Up"

   I like Tuesday simply because it is literally the furthest from next Monday I can possibly be.

   My April Fools' Day prank at airport security did not go well. You may not see me Monday.

   Looking on the bright side, if the Mayans are right, this is the last Monday we'll ever have to deal with.

   Snooki is going to be hosting WWE raw on monday. Finally, a good match for Hornswoggle

   Practicing my "Eye Rolling" cause you know... tomorrow's Monday.

   I can already hear Monday morning whispering Go F***Yourself in my ear.