Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Dear Hulu, Disney, Apple, Netflix, Amazon, CBS, NBC, and everyone else trying to create a streaming service: we’re not going to pay for eight of these, work it out.

   Twenty years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

   When she got a boyfriend but she wanna know ya name ~ side nigggaa

   It should be mandatory that every citizen 21 and older carry a firearm.

   My friend’s uncle was a hypochondriac. People like that make me sick.

   If your IQ is 35 but you think it’s 220, you’re probably a moron.

   Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet!

   That’s a horrible idea. What time?

   We are all here on earth to help others. What on earth the others are here for I don’t know.

   The death toll rises: A man dies of a heart attack a year and a half after eating a corndog at the Jan. 6th riots.

   Milk comes from cows, not almonds or other hippy lifestyle products.

   If you are petting a small dog in your lap, it is important to let everyone else in the zoom meeting know what you are doing with your hand.

   Was stung by a bee, guess what happened? That’s right, a Welp.

   Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time

   If your ideology makes you hide your face with a mask, then you are a coward.

   Can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

   Let go of my ears, I know what I’m doing.

   If you did not oppose vaccine mandates, passports, you have zero credibility when you say, “my body, my choice.”

   I want my paychecks in pennies so I can swim in it like Scrooge McDuck.

   4 o’clock and all is Welp.