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During fireworks is the best time to shoot someone. 
Out of the 20 richest women in the world, only one did not inherit their money from their husband or father!
NO alcohol...NO fun. KNOW alcohol...KNOW fun!
The Only Difference Between My Car, And Yours Is Mine Did'nt Come Here On A Boat.
Beyonce gave birth by a C-section? Guess she didn't want her thing stretched out
July 4th is the perfect day to get rid of your spouse.....with the fireworks bangs..no one will hear a couple of shots:)
How do you make White House Soup? You start with a laughing stock and and a whole bunch of nuts.
thank you Tom Brady for showing the world that you have way more GOD given talent than Tebow!
I was so excited when I learned that Rosie O'Donnell had a Heart Attack...then I found out she was still alive.
Woohoo! Marco Rubio For President Of The United States of America!!!
# For someone who doesn't know what they're talking about, he sure does do alot of talking.
The equation for Lady Gaga's Bad Romance :(RAH)^2 (AH)^3 + RO(MA +(MA)^2) + (GA)^2 + OOH(LA)^2
what do you tell a woman who has two black eyes... nothing you've already told her twice!
A 27-year-old was arrested after posting on Facebook he was engaged to a 14-year-old. His relationship status: “It's Illegal.”
my Facebook password is your girlfriends name
confesses, as a kid he used to have a crush on that crazy-ass evil blonde chick on "Little House on The Prarie"
women are much smarter than men.Think about it,diamonds are girls' best friend...a mans best friend is a dog.
Do fathers who live in barns say to their kids "Open that door! What do you live in a regular house?"
my sub teacher in 11th grade was born without arms, he asked a girl "need a hand" & she laughed ..he should of slapped her!
still embarrased about what I did for a klondike bar....that was 2 years ago leave it alone people.......... 