Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Hug her from behind but keep an eye out for her husband.
←Rate | 07-05-2017 02:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its so hot in my apartment,Satan called asking if its for sale!lol
←Rate | 07-10-2017 02:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a digital radio going for super cheap on EBay because it's stuck on full volume. Can't turn that down!
←Rate | 08-04-2017 21:12 by RD Comments (0)  


   messageicon During my vacation, I learned alot about my self. The main thing I learned was, not to take another vacation.
←Rate | 08-27-2017 21:36 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before you go driving thru flood water, remember water made the Grand Canyon.
←Rate | 09-01-2017 00:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am curently baking the air in here @400° because I am not turning the heat on yet!
←Rate | 09-10-2017 14:07 by JohnY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope old Hugh went out with a bang.
←Rate | 09-29-2017 10:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only reason I picked up that copy of Playboy was to read Hugh Hefner's Obit.....What Pictures???
←Rate | 09-29-2017 10:08 by JerryCarter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I'm put on hold for longer then 10 minutes and a recorded message says "Your call is very important to us!" I cant help but wonder how long I'd have to wait if it wasn't very important?
←Rate | 11-29-2018 12:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bird Box looks exactly like A Quiet Place but instead of covering their mouths, they cover their eyes. Wait, if monkeys have taught me anything... will the next movie be about people who have to cover their ears?
←Rate | 12-29-2018 13:20 by MikeReynolds Comments (0)  


   messageicon For Sale. Slightly used Christmas tree. Price negotiable. Can pick up in front of neighbor's house.
←Rate | 01-23-2019 09:49 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can’t believe I thought this VHS porn collection would be worth a lot of money by now
←Rate | 01-29-2019 02:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part of Valentine's day, is the next days 50% off sale on the box chocolate candy.
←Rate | 02-05-2019 17:14 by Joker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can you get fired for wearing leather pants to work?
←Rate | 02-16-2019 01:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I can never be serous on facebook as it's just a website that shouldn't be taken too seriously. Like seriously.
←Rate | 03-16-2019 09:36 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My underwear is so old, that my tighty whities are no longer tight or white.
←Rate | 04-07-2019 23:13 Comments (5)  


   messageicon Insanity runs in my family..it practically gallops.
←Rate | 07-21-2019 03:56 by Eideeodee Comments (1)  


   messageicon I’m really bad at impressions but I’ll give it a shot: This is my impression of a man that went into a coma in 2014 and woke up in 2019. “Seriously? That dude? Aaand scene.
←Rate | 09-06-2019 01:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he won't come to you anyway.
←Rate | 09-26-2019 16:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Began training today for my new career in mixed martial arts and crafts. B
←Rate | 10-29-2017 05:18 Comments (0)  



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