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Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages
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I'm the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I know how to hide a dead body.
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09-08-2013 08:19 by
Kisstopher707
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Nicolas Cage must be hibernating. Thank god.
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09-12-2013 13:19 by
Kisstopher707
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My name is Brian but my friends call me when they need a favour.
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09-15-2013 11:27 by
Kisstopher707
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If you're happy and you know it go away.
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09-15-2013 11:46 by
Kisstopher707
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I would totally be in a relationship right now, but I prefer sex without complications.
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09-24-2013 08:21 by
Kisstopher707
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The fastest way to confuse a woman is to tell her she looks great now that she's gained a couple of pounds.
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09-26-2013 15:14 by
Kisstopher707
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Just watched a twerk video that made me wish I was Stevie Wonder.
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09-28-2013 06:13 by
Kisstopher707
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I was wondering why my pants felt so comfortable till I realized they were still in the drawer.
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10-03-2013 08:12 by
Kisstopher707
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Ladies; When a guy you don't know offers to buy you a drink in a club, he's not being nice he wants to have sex with you. It's not rocket science.
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10-05-2013 14:24 by
Kisstopher707
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Loving someone who doesn’t love you back isn’t as bad as trying to eat something immediately after brushing your teeth.
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10-07-2013 12:05 by
Kisstopher707
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If you decide to walk a mile in my shoes, it will likely just be a mile of circles looking for the remote.
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10-07-2013 12:22 by
Kisstopher707
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If you love someone, make them guess how you feel about them until they get tired and move on to someone else.
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10-08-2013 02:19 by
Kisstopher707
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I'm sorry Kanye, but you can't name your baby North West, then call yourself a "creative genius."
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10-10-2013 15:14 by
Kisstopher707
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It's only a "good morning" if there's coffee involved
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10-11-2013 12:42 by
Kisstopher707
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My Panic Room is every room I walk into where there's people.
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10-11-2013 13:31 by
Kisstopher707
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Sharks and children, both can sense fear and weakness.
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10-13-2013 03:37 by
Kisstopher707
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Home is where your neighbors see you walk around with no pants on.
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10-13-2013 04:35 by
Kisstopher707
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If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back, send them all their stuff they left at your place.
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10-15-2013 12:27 by
Kisstopher707
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I just saw a donkey use the zebra crossing to cross the road. What a smart ass!
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10-15-2013 13:19 by
Kisstopher707
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Just burnt my mouth on a slice of pizza and now I totally understand what betrayal feels like.
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10-17-2013 12:09 by
Kisstopher707
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