Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon How does the Hamburglar introduce his girlfriend....... Meet Patty.
←Rate | 05-25-2018 18:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Face off was probably the worst movie we watched as kids. Imagine believing Nicolas Cage’s wrist size face could fit on John Travolta’s massive head.
←Rate | 07-01-2018 23:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The coffee's not cutting it this morning. So please help me activate those "Feel Good" dopamine chemicals in my brain by liking this status. Thanks!
←Rate | 07-29-2018 12:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I find you're total lack of ambition is inspiring.
←Rate | 08-12-2018 01:30 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The worst fault that people have is telling other people theirs."
←Rate | 08-31-2018 21:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‪Picking your nose doesn't make you a bad person, but what you do with the booger will define you. ‬
←Rate | 09-01-2018 04:46 by @MacDaddie72 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I asked my mechanic what would happen to my car if I stepped on the gas and break at the same time, he looked at me and told me the car would take a screenshot.
←Rate | 10-07-2018 03:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The secret to a happy marriage.... Jack Daniels on the rocks
←Rate | 11-08-2018 04:58 by Ha.ha Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend in Quebec is a heavy drinker. In fact he drank Canada Dry
←Rate | 12-12-2019 12:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sheep lives its whole life in fear of the wolf only to be eaten by the shepherd...
←Rate | 10-30-2019 18:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never trust a woman born on her birthday
←Rate | 01-02-2020 06:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon *My mother inlaw is so old, that she has an autograph copy of the Bible.
←Rate | 01-05-2020 05:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care how old I am. If a toy says "Try Me" on it, I'm pushing those buttons...
←Rate | 01-05-2020 09:10 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to brag but I walked by a group of guys today and heard one of them say “See? That’s why I’m gay.”
←Rate | 01-13-2020 06:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The neighbor is having an open home How long should I stand at my front door naked yelling at birds?
←Rate | 01-16-2020 15:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't be afraid to cut people off-Lorena Bobbitt
←Rate | 01-23-2020 06:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Can I get a umm...” -every person ever at the drive thru
←Rate | 01-25-2020 07:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to steal a bunch of digestion meds as a kid and all the cvs’s around town had a wanted sign calling me klepto bismol
←Rate | 01-28-2020 06:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I asked the lead singer of Hall & Oates to name one of his favorite bands. He said, "KISS is on my list."
←Rate | 01-30-2020 06:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Need your help Friends.... I'm looking for sponsors to prove that money can't make me happy.....Please send generous donations so I can conduct my experiment!
←Rate | 01-30-2020 07:02 Comments (0)  



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