Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
YOU CANT GROUND ME, THE GOVERNMENT ALREADY DID -Kids 
The below post, I checked on his Twitter page. Now I see why he's this stupid. SMH.
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It’s like having a remote to open the fridge.
I went to the bank today. I saw a man with a mask and gloves come in and thank God he was just there to rob the place.
Around a third (42%) of parenting is pretending you understand your child’s homework
Paying the internet $4.99 to take an IQ test is you failing the test.
I like seeing people with no mask or gloves on. Just raw doggin' life
Thinking of calling into work due to diarrhea…no one questions diarrhea
me: sorry but I just can’t sugarcoat this my boss at Kellogg:’s: you’re fired
Why did it have to be the dog? I have the hubby insured for $1.5 million.
At the end of each day life should ask us, "Do you want to save the changes?"
Auto correct is my worst enema
Leaving out one letter can cost you thousands of dollars in legal fees: "Doll I'm having a blast in Las Vegas, wish you were her."
I like to hold hands at the movies... but it always seems to freak out strangers.
I was in a band called Click Bait. You won't believe the kind of music we recorded... Track number 5 will blow your mind.
HELP WANTED: Seeking motivated and goal oriented individual to validate me on the internet.
Me: I need to ask you a serious question. GF: OK! First, let me get my mother, sister, BFF and college roommate on speakerphone!! Me: OK, why does a wool sweater shrink when you wash it but sheep don't shrink when it rains??
I'm too tired to order anything for dinner so I guess I'll starve
Last night, I fell asleep with one of those new e-cigarettes in my mouth. I woke up half an hour later & my whole apartment was on the internet.
When OJ gets out, he going to kill it on Tinder. 