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Went to the dentist today. My teeth are fine. I just wanted to hear some of my songs. 
The world all of a sudden feels like a casual stroll through a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit at the end of a busy weekend.
I cannot stop thinking about how the director of Con Air’s previous directing credit was 10 years earlier and it was the music video for Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up.
Here, hold my drink. Ruining this is going to take both hands.
Once this corona tension is over....will take 7 days break and rest at home.
Parents, here's a way to keep your kids busy for awhile on Easter, let them have an Easter egg hunt, just don't hide any eggs.
Wonder if I have enough things in my kitchen junk draw to build a rocket ship to get me off this rock?
eharmony just matched me with a dozen donuts
Got out of the shower this morning and went to put my Fitbit back on, the screen said “looking good.” Was more than a bit unsettling since I was naked.
I apologise for the way I acted when you said the McRib was back and then told me you were kidding.
Look low in the northwest sky around 9:45 p.m for the next few days for the NEOWISE asteroid you won't want to miss as it will be a once-in-a-lifetime event!! just like the last several asteroids that flew by.
Research has revealed a subatomic particle that may actually be shaped like a buffalo. It's been called the Higgs Bison.
Wife: Can you pick up milk?... Me: [lifts gallon] Yea sure, it's easy... Wife: I mean from the store.... Me: Umm ok, but I would imagine it weighs the same there too
Just met a kid named Denim today so yes, I would definitely like another drink.
The last thing someone who can't decide what to make for dinner needs is 101 different crock pot choices.
How come documentary makers can find drug makers and hitmen to interview but the police can’t find them?
I wish I could unlearn English for one day so I could hear how it sounds without meaning.
Steps to survive on a dessert island: 1. check spelling 2. if correct, enjoy
Yes ... I suppose I am one of the few people that actually love Fruit Cakes!!! ....Heck .... I only need a few more ..... this year I hope to get enough to complete building my Brick wall!!
Decided to put up a Christmas tree this year....wrestled with it a bit..finally got in in place... it smells like Christmas now.. and it looks real cool, hanging from my car's rear view mirror. 