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Before I was born, I was given a choice between a big di*k, or a good memory. I don't remember what one I chose.
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10-04-2018 14:29 by
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I never knew that tanning beds had a pumpkin spice setting.
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10-04-2018 07:44 by
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Japan has built humanoid robots to do construction work. The robots are so human like that they have three reports of sexual harassment.
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10-04-2018 05:32 by
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Dictionary the only place where divorce comes before marriage.
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10-03-2018 02:45 by
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Bachelor is a guy who will never find out how many faults he has.
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10-02-2018 21:42 by
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Consciousness is the nightmare before sleep.
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10-02-2018 21:39 by
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You know you're really not liked at your job, when they relocate and don't tell you where.
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09-30-2018 00:15 by
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Alcohol doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean..... Against the walls, tables, chairs ect ect
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09-29-2018 23:12 by
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Wednesday is known as "hump day". But to my dog, everyday is hump day.
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09-25-2018 16:45 by
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Uranus, a town in Missouri has a news paper call The Uranus Examiner
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09-25-2018 16:33 by
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I said Alexa, what do women want? The damn thing has not shut up for the past three days.
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09-25-2018 01:11 by
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Whenever I played the piano when I was a kid, my dog would howl. Eventually getting fed up with the dog's howling. My dad said for goodness sakes, can you play something the dog does't know.
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09-23-2018 20:22 by
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What do you call a ghost bee? ...... A boo bee.
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09-21-2018 00:18 by
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How can you fill up a room with people without putting a single person in it? .......
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09-20-2018 17:33 by
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Place an order with an energy saving catalogue co. for an economy efficient hair dryer. What I received was a bath towel.
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09-20-2018 03:53 by
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The only good thing about inflation. It allows you to live in a more expensive neighborhood without having to move.
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09-20-2018 02:14 by
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There's an easy way to convert your sofa into a sofabed...... Forget the wife's birthday.
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09-20-2018 02:09 by
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There's nothing to FEAR, but the book FEAR itself
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09-15-2018 05:07 by
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When my mother in-law said she wants to be creamated. I immediatley made her an appointment for next week.
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09-14-2018 23:00 by
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The I before E except after C rule has been disproven by science.
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09-14-2018 18:31 by
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