Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Just helped an elderly man cross the street by honking my horn repeatedly
←Rate | 06-24-2017 20:56 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got an email from Google Earth saying it can read maps backwards, but then I thought... That's just spam.
←Rate | 08-01-2018 11:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first thing I notice on a girl are her eyes. Unless she's not looking, then it's her tiits...
←Rate | 03-11-2019 20:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll be glad when this election is over so I can stop making posts that put me on Hillary's hit-list.
←Rate | 10-31-2016 08:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey BLM, dont worry. We havent forgetten about you clowns
←Rate | 11-09-2016 13:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon U - Haul is looking for drivers to bring back vehicles from Canada. . .
←Rate | 11-09-2016 18:55 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn.
←Rate | 12-06-2016 07:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's make humility great again.
←Rate | 01-18-2017 12:53 by CzovCzov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks like 84 Lumber won't get hired to build the wall...
←Rate | 02-06-2017 16:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it we always have money for wars, but we can't feed the poor?
←Rate | 02-18-2017 17:55 by Skcus Pmurt Comments (2)  


   messageicon If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods would someone else make a sound?
←Rate | 02-22-2017 07:23 by Mr E Comments (0)  


   messageicon If men are stronger than women, why do men in Video Games need full plate armor and a woman only needs a chainmail bikini?
←Rate | 08-19-2020 19:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Amazon would have delivered these ballots in 2 days.
←Rate | 11-04-2020 14:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the doc said my prostate was healthy this morning, I was deeply touched.
←Rate | 12-11-2020 16:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon was playing air drums to Rush in my car and lost a stick out the window. I had to change over to Def Leppard.
←Rate | 01-29-2021 07:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was happily watching the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra when the guy on triangle disappeared.
←Rate | 03-17-2021 18:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Pokémon stuff is getting way too serious. My doctor was giving me a colonoscopy yesterday and found a Pikachu.
←Rate | 07-16-2016 08:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2016 Presidential election. ISIS is claiming responsibility for this act of terror.
←Rate | 07-30-2016 19:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Children fill a void in your life that you never knew existed. And promptly destroy everything else.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 17:49 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dog farts smell worse than human farts because they've been in there seven times longer.
←Rate | 06-28-2016 14:39 Comments (0)  



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