Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   so we are all in the basement watching Dora. And, Dora and Boots can not figure out how to get pass this big red line when Max (10 yr old) says, "It's the border Dora! You are not supposed to cross it!"

   To make sure not to lock you small children in the hot car, be sure to leave something important in the back seat like your cell phone.

   My fortune cookie read: "HELP! I am being held captive at the fortune cookie factory."

   When people ask me to keep them in my prayers, I say sure. I should probably clarify though that most of my prayers are about nachos. So if you need a nacho-related prayer, I'm your guy.

   If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

   i am a leader not a follower so therefore I dont twitter.

   According to the anti-piracy ads "Copying DVDs is stealing" By that logic, taking a photo is kidnapping.

   Ever look at your friend's photos on facebook and think to yourself "She is way too hot to be with that loser!"? Um, me neither. Actually it was a rhetorical question.

   I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

   I wonder how long I can keep telling my kids I'm gunna call Santa..

   Well then....whatever cranks your tractor.

   I wouldn't say you're stupid. You are, but I wouldn't say it.

   I live the same way as I type... fast and with lots of mistakes

   when I was your age I lost my tooth, not my virginity

   wants to remind everyone that all those little ghosts, goblins, princesses, and witches are having the time of their life so please drink responsibly and drive safetly.

   Just once I'd like to learn something the easy way.

   The difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know, and I couldn't care less...

   I'm not feeling myself today....perhaps I should feel somebody else.

   whoever believes this 2012 crap about the world ending.......i mean seriously.....maybe the Mayans just figured it was already thousands of years past their time so why keep counting..........just sayin.......

   Please lets stop making stupid people famous and financing their stupid lifestyles.