Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Parallel lines have so much in common, it's a shame they'll never meet
←Rate | 05-16-2017 09:51 by Dp Comments (1)  


   messageicon From the size of the crowd I would say wrong again .
←Rate | 06-19-2019 15:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Elon Musk should be awarded the Gold Medal of Freedom.
←Rate | 04-26-2022 20:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love may be blind, but It doesn't have to be stupid.
←Rate | 07-01-2012 23:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Big misunderstanding: I wish someone had told me ahead of time that I wasn’t required to disrobe at a “Gender Reveal Party”.
←Rate | 04-29-2019 07:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 30 seconds into Taylor Swifts new song I started hoping Kanye would interrupt her.
←Rate | 11-16-2021 15:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need to start eating healthy but first I need to eat all the junk food in the house so its not there to tempt me
←Rate | 01-10-2018 04:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey kids, try the real Tide challenge. Get off your butt and wash your own clothes and fold them.
←Rate | 01-16-2018 00:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a parent you always worry that you want to raise your children to be productive members of society......and then you go to Walmart.
←Rate | 01-19-2018 17:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem with a President Oprah is a Vice President Dr. Phil and a Surgeon General Dr. Oz.
←Rate | 01-23-2018 15:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad died. He was 91. Funeral will be held as soon as we figure out how to put his coffin together.
←Rate | 01-28-2018 09:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook needs to make a "Slap you in the face with a dictionary" button
←Rate | 02-16-2018 04:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon NBA All Star Game: Fergie sang that National Anthem so bad, Collin Kaepernick stood up and told her not to disrespect the Anthem like that.
←Rate | 02-18-2018 21:46 by JW Comments (0)  


   messageicon This dentist just told me I need a crown, and it's a relief to finally start getting some recognition around here.
←Rate | 03-08-2018 22:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it my illegal logging operation is a success.
←Rate | 03-29-2018 14:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At this point, the only guy on the internet that I trust with my personal data is that Nigerian Prince.
←Rate | 04-13-2018 07:55 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Actually I don't think it would be all that hard to get out of a pickle.
←Rate | 04-17-2018 11:09 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon ME: “We have a problem, the liquor store is closed.” HER: “That's ok, I don’t drink.” ME: “Ok we have two problems.”
←Rate | 05-14-2018 14:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just swallowed a probiotic with a vodka tonic in case anyone is looking for a health coach.
←Rate | 06-12-2018 02:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son screamed like a little girl when he saw a spider so no paternity test was needed.
←Rate | 06-28-2018 05:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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