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Truman Funny Status Messages
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"Who let the dogs out?" - [Pavlov getting annoyed]
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11-26-2018 13:23 by
Truman
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Does rocking a vending machine count as exercise?
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09-17-2018 13:00 by
Truman
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The ancient Egyptians had strict burial requirements, which included being dug up & displayed in a museum years later?
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11-20-2018 02:58 by
Truman
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To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you're happy now!!!
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07-30-2018 19:28 by
Truman
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4
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Good news for insomniacs! Only 2 more sleeps to Christmas!
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11-14-2018 06:29 by
Truman
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0
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Planning a trip to Australia..I was asked if I had a criminal record?..I didn't know you still needed one?
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06-22-2018 08:35 by
Truman
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2
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I'd just like to congratulate the person that invented the wobbly restaurant table! They're basically everywhere now!
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11-06-2018 04:46 by
Truman
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My Girlfriend said she's leaving in the morning because of my "Wham" obsession! I replied... "wake me up before you go go"
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09-15-2018 16:00 by
Truman
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I often get a "yes" from women, but it's usually followed by, "that's him officer"
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10-19-2018 12:04 by
Truman
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I read this article earlier..that said.."cows have four stomachs"...and I wondered if anyone had checked this?..because it sounds like the sort of thing a cow would come out with to get more food?
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09-12-2018 20:39 by
Truman
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POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: "So he was medium build, grey hair, grey eyes, grey tie, a grey suit and grey shoes?" DOG: "Correct"
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09-15-2018 08:01 by
Truman
Comments (
2
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My Girlfriend says our sex-life is so bad because I get so easily distracted? Ah well!..back to it I suppose!
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10-21-2018 05:44 by
Truman
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0
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I hate it when I click on a porn video and I can see myself in the screen while it's loading?
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06-19-2018 07:46 by
Truman
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I've been having a problem with nuisance phone calls! The most common one seems to be "You said you'd be home from the pub three hours ago!"
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09-23-2018 06:58 by
Truman
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0
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"So this is Christmas, and what have you done?" The start of a John Lennon song, or the wife about to start an argument?
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12-14-2018 13:31 by
Truman
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0
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I just found out that сосk fighting is done with chickens? That's 12 months of training gone to waste!
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09-21-2018 05:58 by
Truman
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0
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I've started visiting orgies dressed as a Ninja-Turtle! I'm really coming out of my shell these days!
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11-16-2018 07:56 by
Truman
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0
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Not so great minds also think alike!
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11-29-2018 07:42 by
Truman
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0
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I hate when I'm singing and people join in. B*tch, this aint glee.
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03-07-2013 06:43 by
truman
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0
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Bigfoot saw me yesterday but no one believes him!
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09-14-2018 19:09 by
Truman
Comments (
2
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