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going to start a hospital and in my hospital when you are admitted you will be ask 2 simple questions. Do you go to church and do you believe in God? If you answer yes to both you are given a Referral to God Form and asked to leave property immediately 
Come on guys, lets be honest, gays only want to be married for tax breaks. They don't believe in God or anything Christian so that is the only reason. Don't lie to yourself or others.
HOODTRANSLATIONS: "Where the hoez at?" = We wish to know the whereabouts about those with no morals to perform in rather raunchy activities
admit it . . . you can't say "go on" without using a british accent . . .
If I ever got the chance to name a Road, I'd call it 'Skin Road' Just so I could laugh at the people at number 4.
Like if you remember the "yellow isle" at the local grocery store.
Lil Wayne engaged, Wiz engaged, Snooki prego & engaged, damn everybody got a ring except Lebron!
BALL SO HARD MUTHAFCKAS WANNA FINE ME." "Grandma, just pay the parking ticket..."
Jimmy Fallon will last on the tonight show less than a fart in a picnic basket
It's been so long since I've gone to church, I couldn't even tell you what year God wrote the bible.
On the day before Thanksgiving, I am thankful for Small Pox....if not for that, my house wouldn't be where it is. (Too Soon?)
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays
Walked into Walmart and met a woman who had one callus on her toe. Does that make her a unicorn? Imagine that You can see unicorns at Walmart
I'd pay to watch certain people burn alive in some mega corporate sponsored stadium event.
My favourite Christmas song is the one about baby Jesus passing gas. Forgot what it's called but the main chorus is "Do you hear what I hear?"
WAITER: Did we decide? MY DATE: Yes, I'd like the Sirloin. Medium rare. ME: And I'd like the Remix to Ignition. Hot and fresh out the kitchen.
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only guy wearing a thong with Jesus' face on the crotch.
if wine is the blood of christ, why make up a song asking fro jesus to take the wheel?....u just asked for a drunk driver
If you believe a womans place is in the kitchen you must have just finished having sëx and that þìtçh is making your sammich.
Kris Kross will make you... Jump Jump. The Daddy Mac will make you ... Jump Jump. The Mac Daddy will make you.... OD in your living room. 