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The hospitals are running low on plasma and need donations. Apparently people bought more TVs for Christmas than they expected so they need to make more. 
a friend is someone that cares but a facebook friend is there for you even when there sick in bed
why is it that when a door is slightly open it's ajar but when a jar is slightly open it's not a door?
sorry, I just don't see how this class/meeting will help me with my career in Farmville
Shh! You never know who's listening....(although if you have a wireless microphone from a tv news station clipped to you, you should at least suspect that someone's listening)
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.
soo The Humane Society says donations can help homeless animals, but I find it's easier to just give a couple bucks to every stray cat I see...
Just once I'd like to go into a bar bathroom and under the "For a good time call-" written under it: B- ..4 out of 5 stars, would call again
He hate hangovers..I mean the drinking part is awesome though.
25% off this thursday
To ensure perfect aim, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
putting the lotion on its skin, before it gets the hose again.
reminds you that freedom isn't free. I had to pay $20 for some guy to get me out of my driveway.
not fighting his way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
A gas station is a place where you sometimes fill the car, but more often drain the kids
you are part of my 99 problems.
just enrolled in Lost University
even though it's so wrong, no one else can do you so right
searching on google for her lost sweater 