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Obama is not a brown-skinned anti-war socialist who gives away free healthcare. You're thinking of Jesus 
I was really jamming to the band playing at a recent gathering, so I whipped out my lighter and started swaying back and forth. The look of disapproval I got from the audience was worrisome. I guess this type of behavior is frowned upon in the Church.
Condoms do not guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.
I'd like to take a moment to congratulate the Ieft on their conquering 2 cartoons, a box of pancake mix and a bottle of syrup.
41 shot in NYC this weekend, 77 in Chicago, 24 in Atlanta. But it's ok... no need for the media to report it. There were no police officers involved.
I failed my history test today. Apparently, "three centuries of inbreeding" is not the correct answer to "how did the american people evolve?"
Mitt Romney suggests that those whom are in Hurricane Sandy's path escape to their second or perhaps even third home...
"never on schedule, but always on time."
the coolest thing since sliced bread
celebrating Take Your Hamster to Work Day ...
like Wow, my Farmville Farm runneth over....maybe I could get Michael Vick to thin my herds.
I decided I wasn't bad enough soo from here on out I'm gonna bathe naked...Yep thats right Butt Naked...
I'm going to go to the eclipse premier tonight and budge in front of every single girl in that line.
I watched the new Supreme Court nominee on C-SPAN yesterday and honestly think he has the worst haircut I've ever seen.
a man can do the world of good and never be remembered, but let him make one mistake and he'll never be forgotten
doing the exact opposite of what his/her horoscope says.
Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert has been spotted driving to Miami wearing a so-called "astronaut diaper," eyewitnesses reported today
voices inside of his head, but they're speaking in spanish and he can't understand them
Ladies, just a reminder...the same rule applies to spray tans as is does to Make up...less is more!
wants the Micro Machines Man to do my eulogy. 