Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
An Apple a day keeps Windows Away ... 
Had my physical today. After the doctor left another doctor came in & said the three words no man wants to hear: “Who was that?”
I like my women like I like my toaster, with two big warm holes and doesn't leave the kitchen !!
Big girls take photos from the neck up.
Whenever I see a fat kid walking I think to myself "why walk when you could just roll"?
Even though I said I dont care about you I still check your facebook every once in a while, just to see how youre doing.
The only words missing from the bible are once upon a time and happily ever after.
She goes down faster than power windows
Your boyfriend is such a playa, when he sends you a text message on your phone it goes to the ''games'' folder.
I believe in God…However, rest assured that unless you are a woman, with a weird fetish, I will NOT be throwing bibles at you…
Note to self - when you elect a joke candidate, you get a joke President.
doesn't think both of the Dr.'s hands belong on my shoulders during the prostate exam.
I am strong coz I have been weak, I am beautiful coz I know my flaws, I am a lover coz I am a fighter, I am fearless coz I have been afraid. I am wise coz I have been foolish & I can laugh coz I have also known sadnes, I know my past yet I can c my future
What do you call a thousand armed lesbians?... Militia Ethridge!
melts in your mouth, not in your hand. Well, I guess I COULD melt in your mouth but it'll cost extra.
Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
A JOB you say? You mean when the person @ the top (CEO) makes the most money, then the vice-president below, then middle management, then store managers/supervisors, then the hard-working employees at the bottom. Hmmm looks like a pyramid scheme to me.
Mary had a little Lamb. Now she doesn't. Eid Mubarak
Bands will make her dance, Food Stamps will make her twerk. But if Romne why becomes president, yall hos will have to work.
Sorry, your password should contain a capital letter, two numbers, a symbol, an inspiring message, a spell, a gang sign, a hieroglyph & blood of a virgin! 