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enough about Tiger Woods already!!! who cares he cheated on his wife. Cheating goes on everywhere!!!! who else is tired about hearing of it? Letterman didnt even get this kind of coverage when he did it. 
Here's an idea on how our Government function....Democrat stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the Republican stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SH!TT!ER!!'
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves...?
my friend is dating a chinese billionare, his name is Cha Ching
Okay you fly-by-sunday christians, you can go back to sinning now that sunday is over.
If you don't need a mask because God will protect you, why do you need a gun?
I switched all the labels on the Spice rack..... I'm not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.
All I want to do is go to open houses & earnestly whisper to potential buyers “it’s a shame what happened to the previous family.”
If you rearrange the letters in the words Faith and Religion, you can make “Microwave.” No, don’t test it or question it, just believe me.
Fun fact: orange amoebas have small minds, small hands and no gentalia.
It's curious how a dog's erection can look so much like a tube of cherry chapstick yet do almost nothing for chapped lips.
She asked me how to spell slut. So I helped her spell her name.
Grrrr, just poured hot coffee on a cup that was upside down.
Dear Curiosity, Please just put the gun down and lets talk this out. ~ Sincerely, Cat
When facisim goes to sleep, it checks underneith it's bed for Ron Paul!
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
Charlie Sheens Interview was like watching Tom Arnold, Tom Cruise and Michael J. Fox all rolled into one human.
Happy Kissing Friday Today..and tomorrow...Happy Coldsore Saturday....:)
If I had to do it all over again, I'd have studied in school...OR tucked it like lady gaga and snorted everything like charlie sheen...society makes the ladder more appealing....
I think long engagements are important because you should really get to know someone before you totally use and degrade them. 