Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4369 of 5594

   messageicon If your going to ask a girl out, make sure you know you'll treat her right. I see some guys treat their Girls like garbage. It's a disgrace. Have some respect!
←Rate | 05-08-2011 23:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon really thinks you should get help
←Rate | 12-09-2008 14:32 by Jess :d:d:d Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, if a President (any, not just BO) can travel the US campaigning nonstop for weeks on end, how damn hard can the job be??
←Rate | 10-25-2012 18:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything gets stolen this Friday, because it's Black Friday
←Rate | 11-26-2015 13:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Faith by definition is: "Believing in things without evidence", but personally I don't do that..... because I'm not an idiot.
←Rate | 06-09-2013 07:42 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Some people wonder what the meaning of life is. Some people wonder if we're alone in the universe. Me? I'm just sitting here wondering whose job it is to grease the bearings on the Price is Right wheel...
←Rate | 05-10-2023 20:50 by Spidey Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman's work is never done. Maybe that's why they get paid less?
←Rate | 08-26-2009 22:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon dont trust anything that can bleed for five days and doesnt die...just sayin
←Rate | 03-30-2010 06:07 by winn Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't believe people these days. I was at church and the lady next to me lit a cigarette.....I damn near spilled my beer!
←Rate | 05-30-2010 11:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon FACEBOOK: Where dramatic people post about "drama" thus creating more of it.
←Rate | 01-05-2011 18:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was going to tell you a joke about covid 19 but 99% of you won’t get it......
←Rate | 09-27-2021 16:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon how many schools are going to get shot up before we as parents decide to start arming our teachers!
←Rate | 12-15-2012 09:09 Comments (1)  


   messageicon When I was a kid I wrote to Santa Clause to "please send me a baby brother",,,,,,Santa wrote back "send me your mother"!
←Rate | 11-29-2012 16:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I failed my driver's test. For the question "What do you do at a Red Light?" I said "Texts and check Facebookk."
←Rate | 05-13-2013 15:13 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon OMN - (Oh My Nothing) Atheist text acronym
←Rate | 06-01-2013 23:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was born, I was given a choice - A big d*ck or a good memory.. I don't remember what I chose.
←Rate | 07-21-2012 20:31 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dont you just love X-mas time. Its the only legal stalking month. You know what I mean.. Someone pops out of the mall..you follow them and a nice slow stalking speed..Waiting ..Then you know its time to attack..Got the parking stall. Mission accomplished!
←Rate | 12-01-2009 22:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.
←Rate | 12-14-2009 22:30 by joe fool Comments (0)  


   messageicon There 10 types of people in the world, the ones who understand Binary and ones who don't
←Rate | 12-16-2009 19:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks more people would take Sara Palin seriously if she lowered the tonal quality of her voice. Ow, my freakin' ears!!
←Rate | 10-18-2010 21:28 Comments (1)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left