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The gov't shut down hurts all the way to the top. Today, Obama could only afford to play mini golf... 
Anti-psychotics, but for religious fanatics.
Let me get this straight... People who believed President Obama was born in Kenya and that there would be FEMA camps, and that Hillary ran a child sex ring from a pizza joint.... are SKEPTICAL of US intelligence.
I ate too much salad over the weekend so I'm going on an Oreo cleanse today.
Dropped a piece of ice in the kitchen. Kicked it under the fridge...
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and sh!t a better argument then that!!
Breaking: Michelle Bachmann calls for immediate release of US Predator drone pilots downed by Iran......
whoever said money doesn't grow on trees obviously has never sold weed
My car is leaking oil. Can I blame BP?
Team Edward? Team Jacob? How about Team Dracula you pansies!!!!
wondering why people say HAVE A SAFE FLIGHT like I am the piolet or something.
an appetite for destruction...and he is starving this week
ǝǝɹʇ ɐ ɯoɹɟ ƃuıƃuɐɥ sı
What is a horse shoe? What does a horse shoe do? Are there any horse socks? Is anybody listening to me?
If roses are red and violets are blue, then what colour is violet?
Bacon is fried chicken for whyte people.
Oprah, you don't need a purse, you need a mumu!!
Bet if a gunman opened fire while Obama was onstage yesterday....he would use them as human shields!! Kinda like he is doing now!!
In fairness, we've been building 'ground zeros' near Iraqi mosques since March 2003.
If anybody slips and falls down at mid field in the second half I'm blaming the sweat that dripped from Madonna's vag. 