Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4361 of 5594

   messageicon I hope my kid's take God to school with them !!
←Rate | 08-22-2011 12:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, I`ve got one. A Mexican, a Jew and a colored guy go into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Get the hell out of here!"
←Rate | 09-19-2010 07:22 Comments (4)  


   messageicon Just read the instructions on a stick of deoderant "remove top and push up bottom". Having trouble walking but farts smell great!
←Rate | 12-31-2010 02:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon first you want same sex marriage, what's next...same sex divorce
←Rate | 04-22-2010 13:45 by one Comments (0)  


   messageicon For how long must I wait and toil in the FRIEND ZONE before she lets me hit it??
←Rate | 07-07-2011 06:21 by BAD GUY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama is all about change. Unfortunately, it's my change and your change he'll take...
←Rate | 11-06-2012 22:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas comes quicker than a teenager during his first dry hump.
←Rate | 12-11-2011 11:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama asking the Iranians to return the Stealth Drone was probably the biggest joke of 2011.
←Rate | 12-17-2011 02:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon President Obama - The worlds most powerful insurance salesman.. How embarrassing.
←Rate | 03-20-2014 12:23 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was fried and eaten on MLK day.
←Rate | 01-21-2015 09:12 by rewrittenguys Comments (0)  


   messageicon 4-20... The day when it is obvious which of your friends are still mentally in high school.
←Rate | 04-20-2015 11:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon rael says "ceasefire", Hamas says "reload".
←Rate | 07-15-2014 09:17 by JML Comments (0)  


   messageicon wtf? why is Obama meeting with Indians? Thanksgiving is still 3 weeks away!
←Rate | 11-09-2010 11:02 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon all he's done in 2 yrs is take fancy trips and vacations on our dime!!
←Rate | 11-03-2010 10:38 Comments (1)  


   messageicon would give his right arm to be ambidexious
←Rate | 05-11-2009 17:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think of Canada as a different country, I think of it more like, America's Hat, because they've always got us covered. Same goes for Mexico, I think of them as Americas Legs, because without them, none of the labor would get done.
←Rate | 06-02-2010 12:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon feels sorry for guys who's girlfriends call them The Boy. Hanging out with The Boy Tonight. Obviously he's not the man.
←Rate | 01-23-2010 08:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fat chicks and mopeds. Both fun to ride until your friends find out.
←Rate | 11-23-2014 23:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This whole rescue could have been avoided if he just stayed in his vehicle. He should have called it in and waited for ems to arrive.
←Rate | 07-22-2013 19:00 by @RonnieChapman Comments (0)  


   messageicon So....Apparently putting toothpaste on your ass....DOES NOT stop you from being raped in prison.....so much for complete cavity protection!
←Rate | 08-04-2012 16:19 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left