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I bought the new Kurt Cobain Bobble Head doll....but now the d@mn head keeps popping off it..... 
i almost rather burn than have to change my smoke detector battery
I can't tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi, or right and wrong for that matter.
when you see her name on dialled , missed and receive calls , you know she is your girl friend
There's so many ways the world could end. Like maybe Dinosaurs come back from holiday & kill us all.
BAD DAY I feel like Kylie Minogue - but without the fame, talent or charisma. OMG! I'm Danni Minogue!!
If you could be sold for what you think you're worth, we could all retire!
Some people have to realize that not everyone was made with a good singing voice...if they were, life would just be one big musical.
I understand the nature of humans, so don't bother me with your pedestrian level of intellect......
have you seen the new Hippie doll? wind it up and it doesn't work.
When going commando the the word "hurry" should not even be in your vocabulary.. just sayin.
some people just don't understand sarcasm.
I just let a disturbance in the force.
My friend lost his tongue in a industry accident , he doesn't talk about it
Treat life like an ocean, your heart is the shore and friends are the waves. It never matters how many waves there are, what matters is which ones touch the shore.
There comes a point in every unicyclist's life when he sees a bicycle and says, "Jesus, they make them with 2 wheels now. I've been a fool."
Palin emails show's that she hadn't had a vacation in 5 years. Heck, the Obama's can't go 5 weeks without a vacation.......
All these beer cans and bottles that have indicators that show you when it's cold. Just touch it and you will know if it's cold or not.
You should have to apply for a permit before youre allowed to use the Reply All button.
What has a Klondike bar ever done for me? 