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heard some folks trying to change the name of Killer Whale to something less threatening. Sea World, Killer Whale was quoted as saying, "I'm back baby!" 
☂ *~Everyone wants to be happy , Nobody wants to be in pain... But you can't have a rainbow without any rain~* ☂
has a thing going with X's wife. Wait... all this third person stuff has X and me confused!
The Bachelor= The downfall of reality tv. OR was it Ellen taking Paula Abdul's place, OR is it the fact that Howerd Stern may be taking Sinon Cowell's place next season.
joining Hokey Pokey Annonymous.....to turn myself around.
muliple personality disorder and schizophrenia. No we don't.....WHO SAID THAT?!!!
Income tax-time is when you test your powers of deduction.
Fending off spidermonkeys with a stick
as anxious as a biker in front of a Toyota
Her personal problems can only be solved using high explosives.
Your girlfriend should get an Oscar for all that acting she does in the bedroom.
I like my women like I like my coffee.... I don't like coffee
his boss must think he's very motivational as he told me that everyone says they have to work twice as hard whenever I'm around.
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face
Not surprisingly, slow-cooked Leprechauns taste just like corned beef!
Man can believe the impossible, but can never believe the improbable
knows he just got screwed but can`t remember where and how...??
┣▇f͟͞a͟͞c͟͞e͟͞b͟͞o͟͞o͟͞k͟͞▇▇═─™ This drug is very efficient for cases of chronic boredom. Extra doses can lead to farmville sydrome and turn you into a annoying tool
wonders if retail stores in Afghanistan have a hard time taking inventory because of the tally ban.
thinks that this is finally some "change" we can believe in............failing! 