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thinks life should have an "undo" button! 
I'm hopping in the DeLorean with the Doc to travel back in time to Wednesday to buy a Powerball ticket. Between the other winner and I there will be $258 million dollars and one full set of teeth.
so turns out you CAN use lemon juice to get goats blood off of the curtains
Wishing I was a mind reader!
Kan yu knot spel?
Whats the only animal with an a$$hole on the middle of its back? A police horse.
I'm so confused, I thought the Crip Walk was a marathon for gang members
always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.
so you press the button to hail the elevator, when it doesn't come we press the button again. does a second press hail the elevator faster, if not, why do we do it
Power play? I think the Washington Capitals need to work on their Heimlich Maneuver instead.
I am now home from what would have been a hard day had I done any work
about to mail my check for $1500 to nigeria for the $15million lottery I just won! Cya later SUCKAS!!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice!!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my a$$.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
wonders if Vancouver city cab drivers are prepared for Chicago Blackhawk Patrick kane's arrival.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
a caring stalker.
writing your phone number on the toilet wall 