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There are three things that are scary to watch the morning after partyn hard! : own face, purse and list of outgoing calls :) 
maybe or maybe not feeling ambivalent today
I guess yankee fans wont update there statuss!!
Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it craps on your head.
even if your sporting a tic tac for a dck....you can still freshen their breath!
Words to live by: If your outflow is greater than your income, then your up-keeps guna be your downfall
I've got bieber fever!!!! Whenever I hear his name or music I get a fever, headache, nausea
Power to the people who have freedom in their focus..
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear...
Ever wonder if you ordered something online, forget what you ordered and get mad because it still hasn't came yet?
Only 259 more shopping days till Christmas
Cremaster muscle- the muscle that raised the testes when cold. Sumo wrestlers can voluntarily move this muscle to protect themselves.
Ricky Martin has answered the question, "Are you gay?". But for many, another question remains: "Who's Ricky Martin?"
Which is the best new slur for hipsters: Fauxhemian or Doucheoisie? I'm thinking Doucheoisie.
While creating wives, God promised men that good & ideal wives will be found in all corners of the world and then he made the earth round!
WEED - 5$...ROLL UP - 1$...THAT FEELING YOU GET AFTER - PRICELESS......HAPPY 4/20
saw the geico gecko cutting the allstate agent's brake lines, talk about cutting out the middle man.
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
The good news is, we destroyed the Ring. The bad news is, we disrupted a hemisphere's worth of air travel and two dozen national economies... our badd... 