Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Giving this positive outlook thing the old college try. Which means I'll only try on Tuesdays and Thursdays after noon. 
Why.....do the best-looking cars have the dumbest drivers
so glad he can't get anyone pregnant from poking all these lovely ladies on fb...he hopes! O.o
I was so drunk last night , I went to bed with Bo Derek and woke up with Bo Diddley
Facebook-stalking my future ex-girlfriend.
thinks a city built on rock 'n roll would be structurally unsound.
was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger...and then it hit me
used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.... thats why I don't talk to you =P
should be able to assist and speed up the Charles Darwin theory of Natural Selection!!!!
Winnie the Pooh is a bad ass. Anyone that can be THAT fat, lazy, obliviously self absorbed and loved by all is a genius in my book.
Meet me in the corn feild Honey, and I'll kiss you between the ears.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Women, don't get a tattoo. That butterfly looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor.
You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to market reproductive organs.
I drink to make other people interesting...
wonderong how long you should wait before you should tell a highway it's adopted
You looked good until you said something stupid!!!
Im better at sex than anyone; now all I need is a partner. 