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Just stared in horror at the contents of my son's diaper & asked him why he's doing this to our family. 
Smart phones, smart cars, smart everything... Where are all the smart people?
10: I whip my hair back & forth. 16: I pass my blunt back & forth. 30: I drive my kids back & forth. 80: I rock my chair back & forth.
I made it through 1/1/1, 2/2/2 all the way through 12/12/12! Whoo-hoo! I'm feeling pretty invincible....Bring on 13/13/13!!!
April showers bring May flowers. And May flowers bring...pilgrims!!!
Spray tans, for those who can't get a real tan because they think the sun shines out of their ass.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.
So rude of the Hamilton folks to boo Mike Pence, they should've kept it classy and picked out a disabled person in the crowd to make fun of.
I am still boycotting all Marvel movies until they release the much needed and long overdue 'White Panther'.
"I'M NOT RACIST, I DON'T LIKE BIDEN EITHER!!!"
...To be Continued
hungry like the wolf.
feeling strangely happy.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez isn't hot enough to be that much of an imbeciIe.
Trolls used to live under bridges...now they work for the DNC and are on the internet.
3 blondes comes across some tracks. 1st blonde "Its deer tracks!" 2nd blonde "No! Dog tracks!" 3rd blonde "No! Its bear tracks!" They were still arguing when they were hit by a train.
How long does it take for an ejaculation to become mature?
Payroll for 53 over-hyped players: $168 Million, Big a$$ stadium: $1.6 Billion, Getting the Superbowl to that stadium: $100 million Everybody knowing that you spent all that money and your team STILL sucks: Priceless : D
wants to personally apologize for those that couldn't get their gifts from Santa: He died of laughter when I told him I had been nice all year......
Sick of all these crap diets on tv here is the best 1 for ya stop shovelling junk food in ya trap 