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I saw some girl texting and driving the other day and it really pissed me off. So I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her. 
I like my girls like I like my cheese. F@t free American singles.
Ariel is a lot less attractive once you realize she swims around in her own poop water.
Alternative facts. What most good and honorable americans call lies. May God have mercy on our souls.
Those were not boos. They were alternative cheers.
With Hillary dropping in the polls, everyone needs to stop telling the truth about her as soon as possible if she is going to win
So when is the next heterosexual parade so we can brag about how heterosexual we are? Asking for a friend....
People keep asking, "Should Palin run?" YES! She should run back to Alaska as fast as her $300,000.00 bus can carry her. Go roam the frozen tundra, Caribou Barbie.
Here is a billion dollar idea - manufacture toilet paper with the Koran printed on it.
After reading some of these jokes, I might have pulled something rolling my eyes.
Behind every fat girl there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, you're in the way.
What's the defference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa stopped at 3 Ho's LOL
Confucious say, "Is good for girl to meet boy in park... but is better for boy to park meat in girl."
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested.
In honor of the his re-election pants are at half ass across the country.
In honor of Paul Walker, KFC will be offering the "Walker Extra Crispy Special with mashed porschetatoes", for only $9.99.
wondering if the I.R.S. will noticed she claimed A.I.G. and Obama's mother-in-law as dependents!
Due to an increasing number of terrified friends, I'm going to have to change my profile picture !!!
hasn't had his coffee this morning so don't make me kill you
I didn't hit you....I simply high fived your face 