Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Don't be sad, don't be blue, Frankenstein was ugly too! 
The one thing I hate about touch screen phones is the fact that you'll find yourself wiping them more then your ass.
Did I just use bacon as a verb?
Confucius says "Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok."
When the boogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuch Norris.
I hope that guy that "wants to be a billionaire" makes $999,999,999.99 and then gets hit by a bus.
I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat'................. You probably saw our posters.
All I want for Christmas is a Komodo Dragon named Pookie.
I have so many "get into heaven points" from so many people "praying for me" to "save my soul" that I can safely cause hell on earth.
The person who loves you more.. Will fight with you daily.. Without any reason But.. Whenever you're sad he will fight with the world to end your sadness..
You will do Great in Two and Half Men 'Ashton Kutcher', but you can never replace Charlie Sheen !!
Help me out... I cant decide. Should I buy flowers or a sympathy card for the b*tches dying to be like me
If your azz is as wide as an ax handle, you shouldn't be allowed to use "LMAO"
I have learned one thing since joining Facebook... I'm not nearly as messed up as I thought I was.
These new energy saving light bulbs are not all they're cracked up to be. It takes just as much effort to screw them in as the old light bulbs!!!!
What a wifey understands, a ho could never comprehend.
Thongs are like barbed wire fences. They protect the property, but don't block the view.
Scrolling is more annoying and energy consuming when you are reading through meaningless and boring statuses, Damn you naagrag!!!
"6 packs of smokes. A case of beer. 2 box's of condoms. A lotto ticket & $2.00 gas on pump 8" ... Now thats a friday night thats ready for a good time but aint going far!!
The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and I call him Dad! Happy Fathers Day to My Dad & All The Daddy's Out there 