Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4103 of 5594

   messageicon If the world ends tomorrow. I feel like it was somehow Sarah Palin's fault.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 22:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is nothing worse than smelling something disgusting and you're sitting by yourself. Is it me? Is it blowing in through the window? Is there a corpse rotting in the corner?
←Rate | 06-02-2011 20:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After seeing Jennifer Aniston new boyfriend, I just realized that possibly I did have a chance....
←Rate | 06-06-2011 12:27 by Rick H. Comments (0)  


   messageicon .If you have someone great in your life hold on to them and pull them close and keep them tight to you,if not someone else will.
←Rate | 06-07-2011 14:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon OMG!!! Anthony Weiner's wife is pregnant. Talk about a weiner working overtime....
←Rate | 06-08-2011 18:35 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Awkward moment when this random person waves at you, so you wave back and then you figure out they where waving to the person behind you :O
←Rate | 06-09-2011 20:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon For most things there's MasterCard For everything else there's Vodka
←Rate | 06-20-2011 00:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have seen the future, and the future is mustache rides.
←Rate | 02-10-2011 06:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why does Bob Dylan sound like the Cookie Monster and Marge Simpsons love child?
←Rate | 02-13-2011 23:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After an evening of being snubbed at the Grammys, Justin Bieber reportedly spent the entire day in his Snuggie, crying into a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Humilated, Bieber was quoted as saying "I regret the day I was ever hatched"
←Rate | 02-14-2011 12:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Interrsting Fact: If Hillary owned a building which caught on fire and killed a man, because there were no sprinkler systems in the building, people here would go through the roof.
←Rate | 04-14-2018 12:18 Comments (1)  


   messageicon A lot of southern states are celebrating Confederate Memorial day today(4/23) even though the official date is April 26. Confederate Memorial Day is a legal holiday observe in the southern states.
←Rate | 04-23-2018 15:58 Comments (5)  


   messageicon A RECENT POLICE STUDY FOUND THAT YOU'RE MUCH MORE LIKELY TO GET SHOT BY A FAT COP IF YOU RUN....
←Rate | 03-19-2010 23:59 by Samir Momin Comments (9)  


   messageicon God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, but He probably hired Steve to help decorate the garden.
←Rate | 02-20-2012 12:00 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I wonder if Penn state is going to change there mascots name from the Nittany Lion, to the Penn state pedophiles?
←Rate | 11-10-2011 14:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know a girl has been recently dumped when she post stuff like, “I don't need any love from any man. I only need to love and be loved by ONE man. He is the Son of God, JESUS!”
←Rate | 01-10-2013 00:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's with all this bullying crap ... Bullying has been around since the T'rex punked a lizard . You want to stop bullying teach your kid how to defend themselves , bullies hate a fight .
←Rate | 12-07-2012 17:17 by BigToe Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Bible says h*mosexuality is wrong. I forget the exact chapter. But it’s there somewhere between the talking snake and the virgin birth.
←Rate | 04-07-2013 10:19 Comments (1)  


   messageicon This just in fromm CNN Prophet Mohammed seen eating a BLT on Rye ... More news at 11 back to you Bill
←Rate | 09-12-2012 10:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No woman will ever be truely satisfied on valentines day, because no man will ever have a chocolate peni$ that ejacul@tes money.
←Rate | 02-07-2012 09:51 by Will Comments (1)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left