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If a chick eats some expensive cuisine in a 5-star restaurant and does not post a pic of it on her FB wall, did it even happen? 
Dont you hate when you're at someone's house and they ask stupid questions like "Who are you?" and "Is that a gun?"
Can you guys in a relationship stop bragging please? Not all of us have a cat.
I dont have a short temper, I just have a quick reaction to bulllllshhhiittttts!
The worst STD you can get is a kid. That 1 doesn't go away for at least 18 years.
The weather was terrible today. One person stole my thunder, and somebody else rained on my parade.
It's so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office playing on Facebook.
Sure, I'll attend your expensive pre-divorce ceremony
wants to meet that hot brunette in that Christian Singles ad on the Facebook intro page :)
I've written "sorry about your cat" on WAY too many personal checks.
I can't be the only person who has trouble pronouncing the words on the eye chart.
Jesus take the wheel! No, seriously, all these signs are in Spanish and I can't read them!
5 out of 6 people really enjoy Russian roulette.
what I won't do for love......i might do for a klondike bar~!!!
Thesaurus .cōm is down which is inconvenient and also inconvenient.
What? You mean human beings still have pubic hair? By choice?
Lazy rule. As soon as I get under the blanket covers, all of today's responsibilities, become tomorrow's problem.
My girlfriend is almost perfect. She loves everything about me; listens to me, and cares about my feelings. Her only flaw? She does not exist.
Between James Holmes, the Penn State case, and the Penn State fans... there's just a lot of sick people in the world. Trust no one!!
Rest In Peace Sherman Hemsley aka George Jefferson.. You're differently moving on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky. 