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no those pants don't make you look fat, it's your ass that makes you look fat. 
if I had a peso for every lame mafia wars update you posted this week, I could afford to put a real hit on your azz!
Why is the Ice-Cream truck playing the theme from "Deliverance," "Deueling Banjos?" No wait, it's "Music Box Dancer." Whew! The fact that I can name THAT tune is scary in its own right...
instead of unfriending someone facebook should have an "I really F'ing hate you" button
Beer is good for what ales you.
If genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration,i wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people.
would like to remind everyone to Wang Chung tonight.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
wants you to remember the "Golden Rule"....whoever has the gold, makes the rules.
If you can't multi-task, why should I. your computer
logged into myspace, felt like I was cheating behind facebook's back
every second becomes a minute, every minute becomes a hour but when your living it up every crazy sh#t you did in your life becomes the best memories.
Who here thinks Kesha's your love is my drug the starting beat of it is like love game by Lady gaga
every movie is practically comin out in 3d, maybe thats why I feel cross-eyed
I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.
To all you virgins.....Thanks for nothing!
Press 1 for English.....Who do I get? A Filipino speaking broken English....Sheesh! Hang up, try again.
New Condom Slogan: Wrap it in latex or she's gonna get your paychecks.
Thank god for the UNFOLLOW function. With one click, they stop existing in your world and on your timeline.
Bernie wii now feel the burn. 