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Girl, not even the Kool-Aid man could bust through your emotional walls. 
Used to comment and joke when the didgets were in their hundreds now your a pretty tough crowd
You can take a hint or you can take a hike... But you are not taking my heart.
has enough wiper wash for 78 butterflies, after that I'm screwed!
Lions, Tigers, And Bears Ohhh My... God! They shot em' all!
Guess I better watch the end of this little baseball game so I can say tomorrow ' yeah I saw that,didn't think (___insert winner here___) would pull it off ! The lengths I go just to fit in. ;-)
Satan came to me today and asked if he frieghtened me, I said no- not in the least bit, I said I used to be married to your sister...
I am not addicted to weed, I only smoke it 2 times a year on my birthday and when its not my birthday.
We live in a world where dates like 11/11/11 make people happy :|
If this really was a popularity contest I think you'd have to agree we all lose.
Alcohol is not the answer. IT JUST MAKES YOU forget the question.
Nothing aggravates me more than to hear a career politician say, "I am not a career politician."
Its New Years... I just dont understand why people feel the need that they have to go out and get sh!tfaced and not remember ringing in the New Year..Well I guess I should finish these beers and get back to work. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I hate when I'm about to chat someone and they go offline.
Be still like a mountain and flow like a great river. But not during sex, that's just selfish.
Poor decisions should be rated on a scale of 1 to Charlie Sheen.
marry the 1st girl who unhooks it for you! She hates to see you struggle
Shoutout to blondes who put on lip gloss before they brush their teeth.
I love how people always say they hate drama, yet they're constantly posting their drama on Facebook!
Pat Sajak was drunk at the wheel...... 