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I dont see how anyone can smoke in here, I can barely eat my sandwich...written on the wall of a porta-john 
Tax Day! Just wanna say that taxation WITH representation isn't all that great either..
tries to read books that will make me look good if I die in the middle of reading them.
there's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
You'd think with all that money Rihanna is making she'd be able to afford clothes.
I am just a boy standing in front of the internet, asking it to love him.
I think this time around we elect a 17yr old girl president... That way when the economy goes sour,, she can run to her room and slam the door.
Mans face eat'n in Miami the Apocalypse has begun.!
If I'm ever in a horror movie, most of the scenes will be me changing my pants.
I've stopped trying to fight my inner demons. We're all on the same side now.
i wake up every morning and high five my ego
at my high school career day, they demonstrated which cardboard "will work for...." signs were most effective
It's 39 degrees, which tells me one thing. That effin' Groundhog knows more about the weather than those clowns on TV.
Why is Chris Brown's nickname Breezy? Shouldn't it be 'Bruisey' instead?
Every so often I like to stick my head out the window and look up and smile for a satellite picture.
Sad news - I helped organise my boss's funeral this week, but apparently he has to be 'dead' before it can go ahead.
Being President means never having to say I'm Sorry
I'm a walking economy. My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression.
Never trust a brain surgeon who keeps saying 'Cool Beans!'
business must be getting better. I noticed on my last check the government gave itself a raise.... 