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Sarcasm is like a good game of chess. Most people don't know how to play chess. 
The problem is that we now have dangerous animals wearing human clothing living amongst us.
IKEA is Swedish for "If you tell me it's not level again, I'm going to smash your head with this hammer,,,, Well then, JUST DIVORCE ME SUSAN"
After all these years, I finally figured out the reason why The Professor never got the castaways off Gilligan's Island, while we all know that he very well could have. He was doing both Ginger AND Maryann.
New rule: unless you punched a shark in the face to dislodge that tooth, you’re not allowed to wear it on a necklace.
Don't hate me because I'm single. Hate me because you are married.
Does anyone know where you sign up to get a tee time at the Masters or is this some kind of invite only bulls***?
whats with these punks with their brightly coloured hair doing down the pub , I thought I stumbled into fraggle rock
Can anyone find me a link to some coverage of the Royal Wedding? I wonder what's happening... [/sarcasm]
Well,today was a total waste of your makeup
Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting.
wonderbra was designed by Harry Houdini
I won't get angry at you today... I just learned it's "Be kind to Animals Week"!
getting a little fed up with politics. I'm thinking about joining that Long Island Iced Tea Party movement.
67.By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game.
Stupid people exist just to make you feel better about yourself.
I don't know why everyone is so shocked about LeBron's mom, we all had those days when MOM seduces our best friend or gets arrested at 4 in the morning drunk and catching an assault charge for punching a valet at a hotel. What's the big deal?
After the 7th text, I wish someone in this house would just call the other person and get the conversation over with. Or at the very least get a less annoying ring-tone announcing your incoming text.
Darth Vader vs Hitler Epic rap battle in history 2, on utube
heard that the Roswell aliens are not happy that America took one of their ships for a joyride and crashed it into the Pacific. 