Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
May the guy who invented SpellCheck burn in Hello 
. I think mydog looks out the window when I leave for work to see that's it safe to lay on the sofa.
in 1964 the wage was 5 silver quarters. Today 5 silver quarters are worth $15.50. We dont need to raise the wage, but to fix our money.
You're never too old to be spanked. If you play your cards right.
leave it to Hugh Hefner to die on hump day
Someone here said that bullying and insulting people, for no good reason, means you're doing things right. When did humanity get so stupid?
The only problem with sport fishing is that the fish have a home field advantage.
I have to get with the times on this social media stuff. All this time I thought Instagram was a convenient way to obtain cocaine.
When someone walks away from me shaking their head, I totally agree.
Most all the women I meet in bars think I have a nice butt. Because as I walk away from them after talking to them. I hear them say "what an ass."
If there is a Little Debbie then that means somewhere out there is Large Deborah and don't dare touch her cakes
Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson just had a baby girl and did not name her 'Pebble.'
Well, looking like Bill Cosby's gonna get to meet Fat Albert, for realz.
It's steak, not stake dumb ass.
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
My kid just found an Easter egg in the back yard, if you want to know how often I do yard work.
remember moms, if you smell burnt toast you're not having a stroke...its the kids trying to make breakfast
I'm so old I remember when sex was dirty and the air was clean.
If this new pair of camo crocs doesn't get me laid tonight, nothing will.
Today has me seriously evaluating my policy of not drinking on the job. 