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Zack Funny Status Messages
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Can anyone tell me how to become a illegal immigrant, their benefits are undeniably more superior to our own.
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11-24-2014 09:41 by
zack
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Women may never understand the enjoyment from putting a warm coffee mug between their legs in the morning. #warmnuts
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11-17-2014 09:02 by
zack
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So I wanted to publicly apologize for not doing the ice bucket challenge for everyone that nominated me. I don't give money to charity, unless she is on stage B at 11:30.
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09-11-2014 16:46 by
zack
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Another successful year no random father's day cards in the mail!!!
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06-17-2014 19:05 by
Zack
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2 years ago the creator of redbull died, to this day his eyes are still open.
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03-12-2014 09:09 by
Zack
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Spilled a my redbull on my phone this morning, now my phone wont come out of airplane mode
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11-25-2013 08:52 by
Zack
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I think Commercials on Pandora & Youtube are the Devil.
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11-14-2013 09:52 by
Zack
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Drinking Red Bull cured me, Conclusion; my cells allowed bacteria and viruses inside to kill them for sport.
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11-14-2013 09:51 by
Zack
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Its so cold I had to rub two ice cubes together to start a fire
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11-14-2013 09:48 by
Zack
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Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
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09-27-2013 08:50 by
Zack
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Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger is ready to accept that it needs help.
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03-24-2011 17:48 by
Zack
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I propose we add a new day to the week and call it "Someday," just think of all the awesome stuff that would happen on it.
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12-07-2010 20:57 by
Zack
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Auto correct can go straight to He'll
154
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11-19-2010 01:42 by
Zack
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features more cowbell than legally allowed in seven countries
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11-18-2010 08:41 by
Zack
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I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous
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10-20-2010 21:47 by
Zack
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They didn't break the mold after me, they just chained it up.
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10-07-2010 22:40 by
Zack
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full of whimsical f*ckery
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09-30-2010 23:08 by
Zack
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what you would call an "Anit-Hero"
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09-30-2010 22:46 by
Zack
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a super hero, with NO powers of motivation.
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09-30-2010 22:45 by
Zack
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Each day is a gift...Mondays are gag gifts!
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09-28-2010 00:40 by
Zack
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