Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Harvey Weinstein has invited all the disappointed teenage Dodger fans to his home for jello shots and back rubs.....
←Rate | 11-02-2017 02:13 by bigdaddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pumpkin for sale! [slightly used]
←Rate | 11-02-2017 02:01 by Trueman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you make eye contact with yourself while brushing your teeth in the mirror you have to swallow.
←Rate | 11-02-2017 01:30 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Astros are world series champs. And Dodgers dodge having to go to white house. So who's the real winner.
←Rate | 11-02-2017 00:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I try dating I get a new sister.
←Rate | 11-02-2017 00:46 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon So a team part of a red state wins the World Series? Interesting.
←Rate | 11-02-2017 00:33 by Cardi’shusband Comments (0)  


   messageicon For an 84 year old Chuck Grassley sure can exit a room quickly.
←Rate | 11-02-2017 00:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, did he or did he not call the US justice system a disgrace? I'm so confused.
←Rate | 11-01-2017 22:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother-in-law sent me the link to the site where you can buy a boarding pass to Mars. She even offered to pay for the ticket. That's so sweet of her.
←Rate | 11-01-2017 16:14 by FastPhil Comments (0)  


   messageicon How's everyone holding up? It was crazy last night. I must have killed like fifteen zombies. But I still don't understand why they were all carrying bags of candy.
←Rate | 11-01-2017 14:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying she's bipolar, but for nearly two hours I thought her mood ring was a strobe light.
←Rate | 11-01-2017 13:49 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon To find your cool robot name, take the first 16 digits of your credit card & combine it with the expiration date and security code. What's yours?
←Rate | 11-01-2017 09:01 by Barber Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother in law won "best decorated house" yesterday for Halloween?..she was only opening the curtains?
←Rate | 11-01-2017 08:25 by Trueman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Halloween is over time to put up the Christmas decorations.
←Rate | 11-01-2017 00:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 200 North Koreans died in a tunnel collapse when testing their nukes. Looks like Kim Jong Un is on the US side of the war.
←Rate | 10-31-2017 15:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do Millennial kids just trick or treat online?
←Rate | 10-31-2017 13:56 by Barber Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not worried about the Zombie apocalypse that is coming. I'm worried about the Libtard apocalypse that is here now.
←Rate | 10-31-2017 08:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid I figured out how to play the piano by ear. After a while I learned that it was easier to use my fingers.
←Rate | 10-31-2017 06:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m not really sure how to get petitions started but I’m a child of the 80’s and want my reboot of The Wonder Years. Shot the same way the original was shot,
←Rate | 10-30-2017 22:57 by DocBrown Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m pretty sure the most dangerous mixed drink is alcohol and Facebook
←Rate | 10-30-2017 20:30 by Todd Comments (0)  



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