Funny Status Messages

   walked into a shop this morning when the woman working said "if you need anything, I'm Jill". I haven't met anyone with a conditional identity before.

   Change is inevitable... Unless your a vending machine

   now listed as single but in a relationship,its complicated.

   wishes he could throw magic dust on my problems to make them disappear. Like a wizard. Or a crack addict.

   needs a Facebook button that says "What you just posted makes me want to stab you."

   to all the wackos who believe in global warming try coming to Idaho in the middle of March..It'll snow

   You can only have so many Green M&M's before your like, WOW! I Really want A Red One!

   Blessings are not counted in gold or dividends,

   looking out the window and thinking what a lovely looking mushroom cloud

   the other white meat.

   sittin at a bar on the inside, waitin for his ride on the outside

   informing you that 95% of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this EVERYWHERE if you are in the 5% that would shout Jump!!

   and Richard Simmons are now friends

   ti esrever dna ʇı puɐ ʇı dılɟ uɐɔ

   things to do 2day- 1: get up 2: survive 3: go back to bed

   Ravage the Wenches, Plunder The Booty

   wants to Google her Myspace while she Twitters my Yahoo.

   wants to say to the nice stranger he saw while driving around, "Next time you wave at me, use all of your fingers."

   so bored that she would actually resort to homework

   stalking you..look out your window