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an over stock of duck sausage, why don't you come duck down and get you some. 
9000 POEPLE ARE HAVING SEX RIGHT NOW...2000 ARE KISSING...1000 ARE ENJOYING ORAL... AND ONE LONELY F##KER IS READING MY STATUS......YOU HANG IN THERE SUNSHINE
always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower for cryin' out loud!
1) Scroll to the bottom of your Facebook page. 2) On the bottom left corner, click English: US. 3) When the language selection appears, click English: Pirate. 4) watch what happens.
thinks they need to have a twelve-step help group for compulsive talkers. They would call it On Anon Anon.
printing off a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills
the reason you get up in the morning <3
me? addicted to facebook? naah... (why isnt anybody commenting on this status!!! I'm waiting for the red number to pop up)...
kicking names and taking asses
wondering if Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
sick and tired of being sick and tired
bringing all the boys to the yard.
going to go postal, but I have to wait 4 -6 weeks for them to find my rifle in the mail.
havin' a 3some tonight... still have room for 2 more.
spitting on the back of your neck.
thinks barry manilow should shut the hell up.
gonna do stuff to you that will make the neighbors want to move!
hosting a naked twister sausage party. $5.00 @ the door. Food stamps accepted as usual!
looking down his pants wondering when the itching will stop.
just hung up with the muffin man. he said he's feeling crummy
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