Funny Status Messages

   frustrated that he knows all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask him the questions.

   here for your entertainment!

   on a bus with his goldfish Gill, going to Lake Winnipesaukee to see Dr. Leo Marvin.

   saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."

   due to the current financil restraints, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until final notice.

   been brought to you today by the letters B and M, and by the number 2.

   happy Cinco de Drinko!

   questioning her invisibility potion

   David Hasselhoff's illegitimate child

   not completelly useless,she can be used as a bad example

   wondering what humanitarians eat.

   won't lower his standards to raise yours

   making hyperactive mooing noises and bouncing off walls

   could use a few drinks.....everyday!!

   The lunatics are running the asylum.

   wishing my mouth had a backspace key.

   tried snorting coke today, but the ice cubes got stuck in his/her nose!

   loving and hating facebook -On the downside, it's loaded with sexual predators. On the plus side, it's also loaded with sexual prey.

   asking those who believe in psychokinesis to raise his hand.

   was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when he realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.