Funny Status Messages

   very tired (yawn) and hopes he doesn't fall asleep on (yawn) his keyboardddddddddddddddddddddddd

   don't piss down his back and tell him it's raining.

   looks so much cuter with something in her mouth

   The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

   Streakers beware: Your end is in sight!

   having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to church!!!

   will try to be nicer if you try to be smarter

   boycotting mornings

   : far from the regular.

   dyslexics are teople poo

   wondering, aside from that one thing, how did Mary Todd Lincoln like the play?

   Two people in every one is a schizophrenic.

   Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are ok, you're it.

   thinking 'if girls had 'mute' buttons!!'

   the capital of Montana is not Hannah

   says "Oh, you hate your job, and you don't have enough money" Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet right down the street at the place called EVERYWHERE!".

   A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

   Bow before me for I am root

   There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't

   life is not like a box of chocolate