Funny Status Messages

   run out of place's to hide the body's..

   likes you. He will kill you last.

   an itchy ring. Dont think I wiped properly.

   been soo pe occuppied with the upcoming zombie invasion that he forgot to take into account A.I and the power hungry super computer trying to take over the world with its cyborg minions.

   Playing x-box.. Err, I mean Lifting Weights

   has logged out. You missed him by mere minutes

   would give his right arm to be ambidexious

   took the "How good are you at Making love" quiz and it asked me for my phone number

   Says women will never be as successful as men because they don't have wives to advise them

   thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple coins to the pavement in town and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, the police were watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing UK currency

   crapping. But then decided to change her status.

   chasing parked cars.

   you dont need drugs to be dope!!

   Bob the builder! can we fix it?!!......no this time we're screwed

   tall, dark and handsome

   If you don't talk to your cat about catnip.....who will?

   - This just in. I have been certified by the Guinness Book of World Records for surpassing Wilt Chamberlin's record of 20,000. My bed post just received its 20,001 mark on it.

   I looked away to not sneeze on my keyboard, and sneezed on the fan and it went in my face

   When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

   The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.