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could only please one person a day. I can't accommodate you today. tomorrow's not looking good either. 
under your bed...
pɐǝɥ ʎɯ oʇ ƃuıuunɹ sı poolq ʎɯ ɟo llɐ
doesn't use sunscreen because his lifestyle makes it far more likely his liver, lungs, or heart will deteriorate before his skin
just stepped on and off the scales & REALLY hopes the saying, "What goes up must come down" is true!!!
just created a facebook page for my right hand so I can tell the world I'm in a relationship with it
hung to the over
trying to think whether i've been naughty or nice this year but the screaming slaves in my basement are distracting me.
people are always asking whats the meaning of life, why dont they just look it up in the dictionary. Duh!!!!
in a mucking fuddle
obeying alien orders
wonders if you can grow weed on Farm Town and sell it on Dope Wars
billy jean may not have been his lover, but he sure loved gettin in lil billy's jeans...
says, "the sun can kiss the moon goodbye, a flower can kiss a butterfly, wine can kiss a frosted glass, and you, my friend, can kiss my ass!"
has been cleaning so much that she must have 2 ugly step-sisters somewhere...
friends are like rocks, be careful how you treat them because one day you might realise you have lost a diamond
it isn't true that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, it's through his chest...with an axe.
if rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
if you want to know anything then come to my house because i've got a teenager here who knows everything
if love is blind why is lingerie so popular 