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wanking over your profile picture 
sweating like a peado on a school bus
It's tough to stay single... where everybody expects you to be with somebody, but staying single is not about having no one... rather it's an opportunity to taste everyone!!!
out-smarted a cat and several ants and it's only half past two
a lawsuit waiting to happen
flossing her teeth and typing this with her toes
thinks there are people in the cemetery that feel better than he does right now.
trying to turn a straw inside out
wondering if Carmen Sandiego is one of Osama Bin Laden alias?
if snoop dog married winnie the pooh...would he then be snoop doggy dog pooh?
wondering ... When Weird Al Yankovic dies, will they do a parody of Michael Jackson's memorial?
NOT overweight. You just get 25% more for FREE!!! Now that's a deal.
learned that "The" + "rapist" = "Therapist"
giving his pillow some head and his comforter some ass
as confused as an alcoholic in a liquor store...
understands that hard work has a future payoff... but laziness pays off now :)
wondering if crematoriums give discounts to ppl who die in fires...
that shirt makes you look like a gay pack of skittles
thinkin'... well, la-dee-frickin-da !!!
awake and sober...WTF? 