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wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don't solve riddles that open portals to Hell 
You need space? WOW. I never knew you were an astronaut.
Gangsta rap made me do it
My tan has got a bit outta hand, the white man always called me indian squaw SNOOKI that's all I ever heard SNOOKI how I learned to hate the word SNOOKI she's no good they warned, the other children always laughed at me give her a grenade she's a SNOOKI
thinking up new and creative ways to kill zombies.
I would love to start working out, but I'm beefing up for my "before" picture.
Stevie Wonder's Twitter update was hilarious. it said," ahdshewsd€yts".
I will never be led to believe there is someone who won't betray you under any circumstance. Learning otherwise is a lesson learned with great pains.
The best things in life are free...for now, wait until the government finds a way to tax you on that!
Goldilocks was an illegal alien
kids learn from fairy tales. like goldilocks and 3 bears teaches us that you can sneak into people's place, eat their food, break their furnituer and sleep in their beds as long as you can run fast and you are blond!
saying, i'm not moody, just don't want to talk to you every wed and fri..
silence is golden, but duct tape is silver
so drunk , I thought my toothpaste was astronaut food....
I raised an eyebrow once. He's an adult now, and he never calls or visits.
It's always awkward when you run into your ex with a car.
The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
: Snowwhite sleeps with 7 men, Tarzan is half naked, Cinderella comes home after midnight, Pinocchio always lies, Aladin is the king of thieves, Batman drives 200 mph, That's what they teach us as kids... no wonder we f*ck up sometimes....
wondering why Texas is flying it's flag all over the country of Chili?
I think I see a light at the end of the tunnel...Just hopeing it's my friends with a 2 million watt spotlight and not a train....
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