Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I just heard that a cold shower eases depression. I was fine with it... until I looked down.

   The Dow Jones: where your nest egg goes to get scrambled."

   He doesn't know how to drive. He doesn't know how to pump gas. He doesn't know how to buy groceries. He doesn't know how to use a computer. He's lived in a gold, chauffeured bubble his entire life. And so many of you think he's great LMFAO

   He doesn't know how to drive. He doesn't know how to pump gas. He doesn't know how to buy groceries. He doesn't know how to use a computer. He's lived in a gold, chauffeured bubble his entire life. So many of you think he's great LMFAO

   DOGE claims to have found mountains of fraud, yet NO ONE has been indicted for the crime of fraud. It's almost like Elon is 100% full of s

   'Sleepy Joe' oversaw the biggest stock and job gains in US history while 'the business genius' crashed it all in 45 days.

   Aint no hate like Christian love.

   Those people aren't attacking Telsa dealerships. They are tourists showing love. I learned that on January 6th 2021.

   I tried to walk like an Egyptian. Now I need to see a Cairo practor

   If you ain't vaxxed, don't be jamming up our hospitals with your dumb ass. You ride that sh*t out at home with your Hannity and your horse meds.

   weight loss tip: when ordering a pizza have it delivered to someone else's address

   The Disney Channel should be renamed "Celebrity Prehab."

   Daylight Saving Time.....Sheesh. Gimme a break. Know what? I give it eight months.

   If Cookie Monster loved cookies so much, he sure did waste a lot while eating them. I need to know.

   it’s 2025. why do we not have caffeinated mashed potatoes yet?

   Pickles are great..until you’re in one.

   “I never go through the express lane when I exceed the product number limit” -me, flirting

   F*** friends with benefits, give me bedable arrangements.

   Red states are much poorer than blue states. Because blue states are educated. And red states are full of morons.

   Right now, is the first time in human history that anyone anywhere on the planet can use the words "he's a f**king idiot" and everyone else knows exactly who they're talking about.